Emptying Boat Toilets

What goes? Sex, the scarce resource

In some approaches to sexuality between man and woman sex illustrated as a scarce commodity. At the very least suggests the behavior of some people regarding sexuality and dealing with potential sexual partners suggests. Add to that the perception that women are strongly favored in this area, so access to much greater sexual resources, potential sexual partners than men. That could have a woman who creates it just waiting around the clock sex with countless men, while a man must starve in the opposite way on the long arm.

There are several things that would under this approach the gentle reader suspicious.

1) Who are the women and men? Women between 18 and 80? Men between 18 and 75 (yes, they die sooner)? Those are taken in itself very large groups that have neither the physical characteristics of the people, nor their character, their needs, preferences, interests, values, attitudes, leisure activities, education levels, occupations, and determines other things that I do not want to come, . consider

2) Even if we assume that a woman whatever they may be such as snapping a finger just needs to pull one sexual partner in the country: Will they this at all?

The point does not seem to be whether a person has and the opportunities, but whether they felt the intention to take them. What good is it to me to be able to have sex with any man, if not turn me on? Nothing. I will not have sex.

I will not show off with statistical data, as well as those are never totally representative. But from personal experience I can tell by some men who had more multiple sexual partners, als umgekehrt. Ob das repräsentativ ist, sei dahin gestellt. Fakt ist aber, dass sich daraus nicht schließen lässt, dass Männer zwingender Weise weniger Sex mit wechselnden Partnerinnen haben, als umgekehrt. 

Gerade die Herangehensweise, Sex als knappes Gut darzustellen, was in einer monogam strukturierten Gesellschaft zudem auch noch bedeutet, dass in Partnerschaften Männer ihre Partnerinnen "besetzen" und sie somit von dem Markt an verfügbaren potenziellen Sexpartnerinnen ausschließen (Gemeinheit!), halte ich für eine Konstruktion. Eine Konstruktion, die dafür sorgt, dass Männer ständig um ihre "Triebbefriedigung" bangen, dadurch anfangen in their courtship to spread as stupid and then wonder that they do not score points. Why did they not score then? Perhaps the behavior is so easily seen through it? If I am approached in Joyclub or other portals with similar goals, so is it very quickly that the men who write me, proceed to Schmema-F, the text is not aimed at me personally, that their scribblings not easy by any manner arouses my interest. And I'm just not looking

Dealing with sexuality and the determination of sexual partners seems to me just not relaxed so wonderful.. Of course, if I assume that with every sip of water I drink my oasis and I will continue to dry up soon reach the point where I must die of thirst, while others might draw from a pool constantly producing new water, en I would also not relaxed quite a bit.

The more a man gives the impression of being on the search, the more difficult it will probably be for him to find a partner who will climb into bed with him. It does not mean that he is a bad guy, but he will not achieve the desired effect so easily and are thus confirmed in his assumption anyway. This woman should indeed have sex with him can, he can not have sex with her. Ergo. A woman can ALWAYS have sex, a man NEVER

addition seems to me this whole thing, that sex is a scarce resource to be focused too much on "the" male side. It's all about what "women" because everything might have. But not for what they want because what is more important at this point. Obviously do "they" did not use any x-any guy sex.

The focus is also still on one, as already stated not further defined, large, global group. Not to the individual. Not on the limits of where interactions Playing. On the radius of the limited space in which it resides, which can be very different depending on the person. Different in a geographical sense, in a (sub) cultural meaning, in the virtual sense. Also dependent on the group of people will be with which one can enter into sexual contact. There are also the personal characteristics that in the simple idea that more women could have sex with multiple partners, than men, as I said do not be taken into account.

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The Taming

Sunday schonmal you have time to look at other blogs. And sometimes, as it is also inspired to write yourself a little. A theme that is also pleased with me also very popular, is the communication between the sexes. Especially when sex plays a role.

Adorable way I could pursue in the context today a debate between bloggers and Christian Patrick dedicated to the no. No, as voiced no. But denying the certain touch, ie the non-verbal 'no'. With the No I have even in the article "YES YES no no" apart. Although I am primarily focusing on that women should also take care to formulate a clear yes to get it relaxed all parties make.

While now in the debate between Christian and Patrick as the "no" in the center, the former takes a position that no just and interpreted, not the last word and must not be absolute. For Patrick means no , especially in sexual contexts, that it literally and action must be stopped:

" In a somewhat sexually colored situation is without special agreements to the contrary no for an clear stop sign which leads to termination of said no action. "

In one of Christian's articles, however, reads the following:.

"exist when uncertainty is enough to give her some room Will not that come down the bra, then you snogs just yet something around and try it gently again. Will they not even be touched in the crotch, then you put his hand on her butt just back and kneads the a while. You can play action and the hand slowly over two fingers move her belly to the breast can be when it says that it is vulnerable in the sense (is building something silly, but from stress). Or, if she wants anything physical, then you talk just a little while, creates trust and then tried again a careful kiss or just a touch on the arm. If one doubts its willingness, can you also make it easy to do something. Say: Just because you do not stop doing something, one must not exceed their limits. You can just go back to the last state, against whom she has nothing and work up from there again. "

Well, what can I say on the subject from my point of view? I can imagine a situation in which I make out with a man feel that he and his actions go too far. Is this then a temporary limited sense? Is it just too early? He urgently to? Or would I not make it so easy? Primarily, it would probably a situation where I will feel uncomfortable. Otherwise I would not dismiss his actions. As read the sentences, the Christian writes, is in his handling of these rejections to a strategy. He takes the situation back a little, try it again elsewhere. The focus seems to me this is not the well-being to stand the other person, but the goal that you have in mind. In addition, read the sentences as the panacea for every woman who is not directly would have it, how to get (n) and wants for each time.

I for one would know in that situation you why I will rejected. Well, not to flatten the situation, I would ask a direct question may rear. But still, I would be important that the person feels comfortable, and the Decline of the hand on the breast or in the step would be for me a clear signal to try any more. I would have been, until the person that demands perhaps himself. If this does not happen that night, then this is so. Either the person attracts me so much that I would like to see again or not. But not everything should von einer Begegnung abhängen. Und nachdem die Situation beendet ist, würde ich der Person sagen, dass ich sie nicht bedrängen wollte. Spätestens das sollte eine Grundlage für verbale Kommunikation über nonverbale Handlungen, bieten.

Kommen wir zurück zur Ausgangssituation. Ich mache mit einem Mann rum, er geht mir an den Schritt, ich möchte das jetzt nicht. Es gibt viele Gründe, weshalb ich das nicht möchten kann. Vielleicht ist es mir zu früh, ich bin nicht erregt, ich bin unrasiert und das ist mir unangenehm, oder ich habe meine Tage oder einfach keine Lust. Ist ja auch egal, Jedenfalls lehne ich die Berührung ab. Wenn er das akzeptiert, merke ich, dass er mich and takes full for my actions. He is because it is good for me. If he tries it again, I will feel left out. Tries it is not, so we continue. If I am not so shaved and not have my days, it can happen that I am in the process, come to room temperature and I would be comfortable but at some point to again have a hand in the crotch. That can signal one. Quite good even. If I previously had a hand in the crotch, then I can take it again and run in the direction. It will remember the person that it is now ok after all.

This constant Ante most, whether it is now, well, not yet, maybe in a quarter hour, it would make me mad! It has also not determined if it is intended, something unsouveränes. The person who can take it back and not constantly trying to radiate more composure, at least what I think, much more exciting than to have the feeling someone, it's all about sex, not me.

And that dealing with them, this implied "with women you have to stop to have a little patience, which has now", it is so terrible. It is objectifying. A woman may very well for himself what is ok for them, or not ok. And this-Zermürbungsstrategie, for as such I feel it, when will be tested again and again, does the person who expresses opposition, not seriously.

I do not want to say that there are not women, so welcome a behavior, ask , promote or. But why is that? Could it be that these are for women who are simply accustomed to a certain extent be determined by others? The man knows what is good for you?

And is not it not also an incredible double standard be that women who show quite offensive that they want and what they want, then have as easy and as sluts?

To me still upset over a point in Christian's line of argument, before I read the article published: white

"A woman making out with a man that he wants to keep trying something and is assigned to it that this part . Try under the normal rules are not taken one sick. "

What does that mean then? Nciht that I make out with a man may, if I will not let him in, because a man wants sex nunmal? Then I may yet not arrange to meet with him to dinner because he does so only because women and it takes a lengthy foreplay? So really only do something with men when you're ready to fuck? I'm sorry, but the logic of this statement eludes me

addition. Who Who writes what to Part? That the Company that any social groups expect something from me to say, but certainly does not mean that I have to meet. And an expectation is not legitimate for a long time for anything.

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Les Petits Plaisirs to form Spring

The girls team has made me a post today aware of a new gimmick in the Web 2.0 which I of course can not be drawn by me. On the platform jumping form one can ask people questions. So even I can be on this way now ask questions. What is concerning this blog, the fact themed areas of life, but also like things that have to do with the blog less. I would appreciate it! :-) You can find me at: http://www.formspring.me/PetitsPlaisirs

also have a text field can here in the sidebar of the blog send in your questions.

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The first step is not dependent on gender

I would like to publish a reader's letter that I received a few days here because it is essentially a dilemma which I had already described a number of devout men. And would like to discuss, in my view, it also by the recorder itself is desirable that even in the context of the comment feature, other people can comment on if they want.

"I would like to just go back a bit, hoping to arouse your interest. Maybe you can draw from it something that is worth reading for you and your blog.
I think, the older and more mature you get, the more forces itself upon one, the question of how to handle himself with his sexual inclinations, which is more than natural. We may discover in themselves needs and desires that differ from the social norm, and the "wrong" are perceived.
Into other areas, such as BDSM, this is still more the case.

If you submissive male and submissive, one is under in the SM scene probably not alone, but most likely still the (felt-intuitive) masses men. In the rest of the (general, non-oriented SM) masculinity, however, we form a minority.

If you listen to a little, or read about how difficult it is dominant women more often because you do find suitable male counterpart, it forces itself but on a the idea that man does not know how he behave in a woman over added.

What is in itself not surprising. Man just usually the one who pretends things. It usually starts already in knowing and dating. As interesting as a woman would find the guy at the bar, she would never go talk to him and is up to him the first step.
What is also understandable way. If a woman is dominant, knows what she wants and the guy then it blows, it is only in the SM-environment likely that he may have similar interests. In a normal environment but men react more distraught, believing that this "break in style" simply are not used, and so does the response of women remain there someday frustrated.
From my own experience I know dass eigentlich die meisten Frauen sich einen Partner wünschen, der größer ist. Eine starke Schulter zum Anlehnen, der sie tröstet, ein starker, selbstbewusster Mann der sie "beschützt".

Als devoter Mann bin ich jedoch nicht so stark. Ich bin auch nicht direkt so selbstbewusst, und ich bin auch nicht derjenige, der IHR gegenüber den Ton angeben will oder kann. Ich wünsche mir die Frau, die mich anspricht, es aber nie tun wird.
Ich werd nun einfach mal etwas persönlicher, spätestens hier hättest du so oder so gemerkt, dass dies keine Gedankenspinnerei sein kann.
Dass jedoch nun schon ab dem Kennenlernen in der Regel der Mann derjenige ist, der das Szepter also in der Hand should have is just the reverse in terms of (sexual) roles gradezu devastating.
Of course, the dominant woman pissed if he responds. That may be because she and her friends just far too nice conversation has, and not to be disturbed, or because of the shameless guy has left a comment too much on its own, or quite simply because he is not her type or because its simply the time it is not perfect enough.
Some of these women love to be considered right from the first moment and later found to be treated, others prefer to meet on equal terms.
degree is something in this regard is an absolute Rotation of the sexual reality, to be yet more bad than good pressed into the norm. And just pours out on all sides. That do not fit each other, can be seen if only because many men can make many mistakes. And what does he intuitively if you please, without knowing the woman at all, even by chance know the proper way to address them? In
SM environment therefore know the "real" woman, is therefore more difficult.

In the normal environment, the right to know is, the more impossible. Dominant women are in the minority, the majority of women expect strong men that appeal to them, no sensitive, cautious men. Wobei ich ohnehin eher seltenst derjenige bin, der Frauen wirklich auch mal anspricht.

Ein weiteres Problem, was sich aus all dem zwangsläufig ergeben würde, ist umso verheerender. Sollte man jemals die passende Partnerin kennengelernt haben, dann ist es mehr als klar, dass sie eine "dominante Aura umgeben" wird, dass sie sich nicht vollständig verstecken können wird. Es wäre daher im normalen Umfeld also letztlich ziemlich schwer, die sexuelle Neigung zu vertuschen, die sich letztlich hinter so einer Partnerin und dem Verhalten ihr gegenüber verbergen wird.

Deswegen ist es klar, dass dominante Frau und devoter Mann schwerer zueinander finden, dass solche Dinge schwerer zu vertuschen sind. Dass both women and men are frustrated and give up at some point the search.

And so it has also shown that the right partner can of course wait for the "

I realize it is not easy, precisely because BDSM pure plays with it is any point to the unapproachable lady -... Why should they contact deign to speak with you Who are just you, that they should feel attracted to you or also? what they recognize that you exactly are, what they would like and different? why they should involved with you if you get them? Who are you that you unasked, unsolicited break into their sphere?

Since bites sich die Katze in den Schwanz. Einer muss nunmal den ersten Schritt machen und auch die divenhafteste Dame möchte schließlich ihre Bedürfnisse befriedigen und nicht dank ihrer eigenen Unnahbarkeit verhungern. 

Man sollte ja auch nicht die Rollen mit den Personen gleichsetzen oder vertauschen. Eine dominante Frau wird in den meisten Fällen zumindest nicht nur eine solche sein, und ein devoter Mann auch andere Qualitäten und Interessen haben. Sollte es sich also nicht um eine oberflächliche Begegnung halten, die anberaumt wird, würde ich sagen, dass man eben auch mehr von sich selbst als Person nach außen zeigen sollte. Eins sollte man aber nicht so sehr zeigen: Und zwar, dass man auf the search is. Well, actually I would not generalize. But from personal experience and the experience which I have checked with other women, it appears that there are men who place a certain degree of desperation of the day, when they even aware that they are looking for.

Ultimately, like-minded terms of what BDSM well but much rather take in the scene at parties, get-togethers, cocktail parties and other events, as happened to be in the hotel bar. And when you speak another problem: The

submissive men a dime a dozen. Honestly, to me are not noticed in the masses. What I already notice are that at various meetings men who seem to have a profile, at least not this show. For sure, but voyeuristic. Unpleasant, albeit quiet, lonely and yet among men. I think anyone who wanted to investing a little, can raise it and define it. Just round tables and other Plauderveranstaltungen, in contrast to the play parties are committed to make new contacts, to show who you are, that's who, without having others feel personally affected. And on those evenings, it does not matter whether you are domiant or submissive, very few of those present will you complain that it appeals to you, even though you're submissive. After all, one is there to talk to! I for one find it extremely rude and just before übergrifflich if any running up my cathedral, to be able to rumtoppen me

In itself it can not hurt to create a pool of contacts, no matter the conformity of sex and affection of their own preference. Because of a contact can be further contacts quickly and easily and without having to give the impression to be desperately looking to generate

But also this:. I do not know how old you are. But times are changing with and. Not for everyone, not everywhere, but everyone can contribute something. Who makes the first step should not depend on gender. Who wants to go to someone to do that was to follow, an impulse, a need. Why not? If you have interest?

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None's is so much nicer! "

of all, all, at least since the 90s, the condom should be established as a first line of control in terms of sex. The question of whether you are escorted back home who can, to a large extent depend on whether the person concerned as is also supplied with rubber.

In my teenage years it was kind of cool to have a condom in Portemonait. Funny As we were that we had the rubber ready, rarely those who needed it really. But we could stand aside and actively paarungswütigen copies of our pubescent species having a cool "clear" to the question: "have you even a rubber?" Answer. We could evenings, perhaps even save lives. In any case, we felt great, responsible and mature it, condoms us to tow with. And we have others who themselves had not, bail out and help them in safe way to their happiness. possess

a condom to buy condoms, which were things that gave it to me at least the feeling of being adults. I am responsible, to be ready sexually active, it should at least be ready to take control in the hand when and if I have sex because I do not leave me in terms of condom on someone else, but can act independently. It really gave me a feeling of freedom, independence, sexual self-awareness, to provide me with rubber bands. And it also had something of a civic duty. To face not only pregnancy but also sexually transmitted diseases in the path. The fight against AIDS to actively support.

But at some point coming to this initial euphoria, the sense of achievement, the partner a condom - even in the dark - on strip to be able to an end. Verantworungsvoller sex or not. He also has disadvantages.

It is the middle of it. In an ecstatic state, wild, unbridled, devouring each other with their mouths, tongues, hands, wrapped around the arms and legs and can not wait to merge, unite in a Leidenschaftzu, which in itself is not really common, nunmal but depends on many factors. In this situation now, you have to quit. The condom dig out of the closet, shelling from the pack and eventually to impose. Go into position, make sure that it does not slip. And then we can proceed. While

This break may be so much of that energy that had built up its already gone. to place a condom is an action that you should exercise but not necessarily full of passion and fervor. After tearing the thing yet. What to do?

There are many other situations in which condoms can be tricky. Some women are covering the additional friction surface (faster) wound, some men have the Schwellschwäche. Or can thus not be so good. Or just simply the reason: "Without's is so much nicer".

Ah, yes ... for whom? As I said, I realize that there are disadvantages in terms of the condom. I also think that in a longer term relationship may well be useful to take distance from the condom. The point here is how to feel comfortable with the idea that the persons concerned, and what other precautions are taken.

For everything else, I would argue essential for the condom. The frustration here is simply that the condom is indeed the small 1x1's sex life, it's just for young people who start new a cool thing, they will all face, "Give AIDS a Chance" posters, this is the rubber but is still not a utensil, which is neatly integrated into the sex life. Rubber cover = interruption. Do it like that? Nothing needs! I'm even not so much with, but I am firmly convinced that there is a way to attach the rubber and a sensory component, instead of declaring it a nuisance. Just as I am also of the opinion that the passionate sexual energy does not need to unload in coitus. It is expected to halt it, but you can not the sex often enough to invent new.

would

Then there's the media: on the one hand, anti-AIDS campaigns, it's cool to wear a red ribbon and prominent to be. On the other hand, the condom in books and films is often weggeschwiegen times. It is so deep, that this is a non-erotic, almost bureaucratic act. Just then the condom is rare in porn, and it is there to see it already in one or the other productions.

It is a paradox. On the one hand, condoms as civic duty, on the other hand, as a disruptive factor, the media hide even if it is not to just go explicitly about sex with a condom. A normal handling is not so, however, maintained. Erotic is not the condom as a civic duty, even as a disruptive factor.

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review: "The ghetto-sex-diary" - Sila Sönmez

Currently raging in Germany is well known that Integratios debates. Punctually to appear Sila Sönmez Novel about the sexual freedoms, reflections, wishes and fears of Ayla, a young Turkish woman who grows up in a cologne "Ghetto", a high school in another unspecified borough, attended.

Ayla is in therapeutic treatment and concomitant therapy writes a diary in which she reports on her experiences on the one hand, on the other hand, think also about themselves and their environment. Ayla takes off, and with older, unattractive men to have sex, because sex with her handsome guys just nothing left. They tried it with couples and girls until they finally in love with a friend and begins to think about whether it does happen to be a different approach to sexuality for them.

Ayla's sexual escapades, sex with many men over fifty, provide headlines. I was happy about, reading about such things. Because that is so rare. The idea of sex with "old" men have, so with the dirtiest of what a young woman can imagine. Ayla sets it to. Ayla is the character of a novel, which can allow such a thing nunmal. You can have sex with whom they want, they can be the embodiment of the dirtiest thoughts, to which we have mopped young women ever.

Aber auch wenn ich drohe, mir zu wiedersprechen: Die Tatsache, dass jede sexuelle Handlung in diesem Buch ohne die Verwendung eines Gummis beschrieben wird, sorgt bei mir für Scheidenkrämpfe. Klar, es ist Fiktion. Ayla kann machen was sie will, sie kriegt kein AIDS und wird auch nicht schwanger, wenn die Autorin das nicht möchte. Dennoch, sie ist ein 17-jähriges Mädchen und es handelt sich um ein Buch, welches vielleicht auch von anderern 17-jährigen Mädchen gelesen werden kann. Im Endeffekt ist es auch egal, wer es ließt. Aber Sex mit Junkies ohne Gummi finde ich einfach abturnend.

Ayla reflektiert nicht nur über Sexualität, sondern auch über Herkunft, über Sozialisation, über das, was sie als die Person, die sie ist, ausmacht. Und wie es ist, quasi in zwei Kulturkreisen aufzuwachsen, aber für den einen zu türkisch, für den anderen zu deutsch zu sein. Gerade auch die Bedenken bezüglich ihrer Sexualität, ihrer Vorliebe für schmutzige und erniedrigende Szenarien formt sie nicht zuletzt auch vor ihrem kulturellen Hintergrund.

Der Schreibstil des Buches ist nichts für jeden. Ich fand ihn sehr anstrengend, weil das Buch, als Tagebuch nunmal eine sehr subjektive Schreibweise an den Tag legt, die sich zudem auch stark an der Jugendsprache orientiert. Komisch das zu sagen: Aber ich glaube, da bin ich einfach zu alt für. A less colloquial and spoken language-oriented writing style I had the book more palatable

addition, here and there time jumps are interfering with the flow of reading considerably and it is once again must be based on whether it because now is the next scene, one what to read or is it more of a stumbling block in the style of writing yet.

Yes, as far as a potential target audience for this book, I'm stumped. I think there is something for younger people, the question here, however, how young. At age I would argue, because I ignore contraception and a seemingly random Sexual behavior is not necessarily straightforward find.

Sıla Sönmez
THE GHETTO-SEX-DIARY
ANAIS Volume 19 ISBN 978-3-89602-565-4

9,95 EUR (D)