Blue Prints For Wrestling Rings

The last month ...

23/07/2008

Spontaneous: New job to 01.08.?

What happens there now? Yesterday I've seen us at work on an internal vacancy in accounting. A month ago I was thinking how nice it would be if I could work anywhere in a bra. Just something new. Not completely new. But it would be a new challenge. Clearly! Tons work. Viele verschiedene Aufgabengebiete. Persönliche Entwicklung. Meine Chance. Heute bin ich zu meinem Geschäftsführer gegangen und habe ihm mitgeteilt, dass ich mich für die ausgeschriebene Stelle interessiere. Er war angetan. Gerade zu begeistert durch die Blumen… Wie man halt so ist in so einer Position. Die Stelle ist ab dem 01.08. zu besetzen. Heute ist der 23.07. Mein Abteilungsleiter ist bis 01.08. im Urlaub… Aber mom. sollte ich wohl einfach an mich denken… Auch wenn es mehr als nur scheiße für meine Abteilung ist, wenn jetzt einer geht. Wenn ich gehe. Morgen schicke ich meine schriftl. Bewerbung per Mail an die Personalabteilung und an den hoffentlich zukünftigen Chef und „Noch-Chef“ in Kopie. Mal sehen was happened. The only problem I see in person: the new boss. But I will not marry yes: o) Wait. Just wait what happens. If everything happens the way I hope, that is, on the one hand, more money and on the other side damn much and get to work ... Yesterday I had my last day at my second job. At last the nonsense is over: o) I know who I will marry again ... But I think to the point I'll have to wait another 10 years: o) My God, Why not? I have plenty of time. Add-on for the last few days: days with many long phone calls with a very loving person. Days, unfortunately, hardly took place telephone calls with this ... But am glad that they are there: o) So And now we wait once again just what to do in life so ... jumps
What am I doing now?

07/19/2008

The morning after the evening with the pharmacist ... (+ Addendum)

It's Saturday morning ... I'm awake for about an hour. Have read. The kitchen again made accessible. My cat looked after ... And now? I sit alone on my couch. The pharmacist is in bed. Half asleep. Half of playing with the cat. I see everything through the open gap of the door in the mirror ... ... Exposes the Lord is still tired? Schmussüchtig? ... Last night I wanted to have everything prepared just about perfect. Und nichts funktionierte Schluss endlich so wie ich wollte. Eine Stunde bevor mein Date hier sein sollte, verabschiedete sich der gerade neu durch die Sommerromanze angebrachte Gardinenvorhang gen Fußboden. Das Gleiche Spiel in meinem Wohnzimmer, da Katinka der Meinung war meinen Vorhang mit einer Kletterwand verwechseln zu müssen. Das Essen war super gemacht. Ehrlich. Aber es ärgert mich, dass Maggi & Co. es schon so weit gebracht haben, dass den Menschen nur noch Dinge richtig gut schmecken, wenn sie mit Sahne gemacht und aus der Tüte sind.Da sind viel zu viele Geschmacksverstärker dran. Und so jemand wie ich, versagt dann vollkommen bei einem kleinen Abendessen, weil keine Sahne und zu wenig Salz dran ist. Blödsinn. Wenn da mehr turn would have been one had even tasted anything else. But no matter. Last night, I take myself to the criticism and try to enjoy the evening as much as possible. Our kisses he calls "Bussl" - me no question why. But once I "Bussl" I hear only desire to clean or something. But at least no longer at the man opposite me at the time sitting ... Whatever. Now I will make to the Lord first breakfast. And I try to make friends with the idea that this is a man who neither moved nor anything else. He's just him. And in a very direct and honest way. I like to be conquered and conquering it. With him was I feel he feels already half in a relationship with me ... My whole euphoria - all away. We'll see. Actually, I may have his properties. This Quiet. The talking. That does not always Aufeinandergehocke. But now and then I would also mention that it feels new and great. And not like we were already 2 years since a pair. I know exactly what to think, the critical reader just ... was first again thrilled and now is again nothing ... I do not know ... But I suppressed anyway fingers crossed that I just my inner temptation overcome and do not always begin everything enumerate Negative ... jumps

____________________________

And now again officially. He's gone. And all this is not the case. We have talked about it. And I think it's good. I do not feel worse or better. Actually I was talking not even touched on. But all that was there this morning was, beside each other. And not with each other. And since everyone else can tell me what. If this is so even now, this can be anything ... Very well. Just my hairdresser was to eat. By 20 clock I meet Petra have for dinner in the cafe bar Easy NEN pleasant evening. Point from ready. That's my Saturday ... Wish you a nice weekend! sooooo much to smile - that I will show the world that is also the same again ... Schließlich kann man nie wissen, wann sich jemand in ein lächeln verliebt, nicht wahr?! ;)Sprünge

18.07.2008

Scheiß auf Anonymität - das bin ich!

here i am ...

so. das wars mit der vollkommenen anoymität. zumindest per bild stelle ich mich nach immerhin einem jahr tagebuchschreibereien vor :o)heute abend kommt der herr apotheker. und ich bin unsicher ob ich nun was mit knoblauch kochen kann oder nicht... aber eigentlich essen es doch beide, oder?und heidelberg wird morgen wohl wortwörtlich ins wasser fallen. es ist nur regen und gewitter angesagt... plan "b" gibt es natürlich nicht. date verschieben spontaneously or make the best of it? I think I'll just be spontaneous ... Sun this afternoon by 17 clock I eingespräch wg. my overtime and the notice. 'm curious how that runs. but beshclossen excite me any more. If I can be colorful, I get up and go. what have I have to lose? NEN next job - but there is still plenty of o) positive thinking. I'll probably never forget: o)) Will report back ...- jumps
the biggest shit is irgendw.cool

17/07/2008

I love being so happy! 5th Day in a row ...! : O) I AM HAPPY

Nothing else seems to me to mind. Well, I have to do a lot mom. So more than private berufl. But all in all I will just brush everything so incredibly easy by the Hand.Ich and work with a smile. I write my resignation for the second job - with a smile. Friday night is the pharmacist will return to mir.Ich cook. I notice now: that's TOMORROW! O)) So ... Cooking noodles, tossed in Knoblaub-leaf spinach with salmon. Afterwards, there is an ice cream with fruit. Red wine and our book ... On Saturday, a super great breakfast and a day in Heidelberg. That's the plan ... And I have to paint 1000.x everything. jumps in me is looking forward to it and everything and me on the weekend! Only sleep times. Tomorrow work again. Once again cook. And then he stands before me again ... : O) Ooooohhhja. I'm happy! And how: o) SprüngePs: today: 16 clock cleaning closing time, car inside and out, 18 is the clock summer romance to grow the Gardienenstange ... then clean only, clean, clean. Tomorrow everything should be ready. After work tomorrow I will fully concentrate on myself and my body is my pharmacist before: o)
I float ...

07/16/2008

men ...?! and - the pharmacist from last summer:)

I can write again. What a blessing;) When you do, no mans, and if you can not, you really want to. Great Sache JKurze Zusammenfassung der Letzten Ereignisse:09.07.2008Ab nach Bad Kreuznach oder so (auf jeden Fall wars am Arsch der Welt) um ihr Auto wieder abzuholen nach der Reparatur.Danach ging es noch in den Globus. Ein paar Kleinigkeiten kaufen. Und ein paar Kleinigkeiten haben mal gerade so eben wieder einmal über 100 EUR ausgemacht. Man, ist das Leben teuer. Währenddessen war Jan so freundlich mich anzurufen, um mir zu sagen, dass er die CD von seiner Schwester (Sängerin) wieder gefunden hätte und ich diese nun abholen könne (+ die Bitte noch eine Flasche Rotwein mitzubringen). 23 Uhr auf dem Weg zu Jan:Ein Typ neben mir im Auto (zumindest steht er an jeder gott verdammten roten Ampel neben meinem Auto und grinst frech rüber) ist der Meinung, dass er mich erst durch die halbe Stadt verfolgen muss um mich dann an einer vollkommen gegen meine Erwartungen „roten“ Ampel danach zu fragen ob wir nicht mal was trinken wollen und ich ihm meine Nummer geben würde. Mein lächeln hätte ihm gefallen. Na wie gut, dass ich nur gelächelt und gelacht habe, weil ich gerade mit nem Freund telefoniert habe. Aber gut. Ich kleine Pluns rücke meine Nummer an den Typen raus (war ja immerhin ziemlich mutig) und fahre weiter. Ich sollte weniger Mitgefühl mit fremden Menschen haben... ;)Bei Jan angekommen: Wir gehen Zigaretten kaufen. Auf dem Weg erzählt er mir, dass er mit Jörg seit neuestem zusammen arbeitet (seit 3 Wochen). Ich hab das mal so abgelegt in dem Moment...Jörg and I have met the same evening, like Jan and myself. Just that Jörg and I ended up in bed together. A typical ONS. Nothing more, nothing less. But in my opinion not very good. Not even in the approach. Remember, despite the wine still in it. But on Jan. egal.Zurück was never as what and we were sure there would never run something. After 2 bottles of red wine I have to admit, however, that with a project, not quite in appearances, but I could also observe this only in the beginning. He kisses me, take me to bed and it is one to the other. And the next morning ... I'm erased from his friends list in StudiVZ. Many thanks, too, you ass. You hast eine Freundin. Du hast genauso getrunken wie ich. Du hast mich ins Bett geholt obwohl ich auf der Couch schon schlief. Und nun erdreistest du dich mich aus so ner beschissenen Liste zu löschen und mich auf ignorieren zu stetzen...?! ARSCH denke ich, bis mir einfällt, dass ich ja auch schon mal was mit Jörg hatte. Gut, vielleicht ist es nicht die feine nette Art mit Jörg und Jan im Bett zu landen. Aber da lang immerhin fast ein ¾ Jahr dazwischen. Egal.. Um Jan tut es mir leid. Aber wer so handelt und nicht mal reden kann hat mich sowieso nicht verdient. Erst recht und vor allem nicht als Freund! 10.07.2008Ausschlafen; ich habe nämlich frei! ;)Abends treffe ich mich mit Petra in der Cafe Bar. Schön ist es. Das Wetter spielt mit. Alles super. Then all will go to Petra in the apartment on the balcony. Smoking! This too is a blessing on my day. Just do everything and enjoy without having to look at the clock. 2:00 clock in the morning. Petra has to go to bed. There are still people who have to work again on Friday ... I get into a car and drive back to Wiesbaden. Past the castle ... And I park. Did my newly acquired book "wetlands" here. Take my cigarettes, a book and sit in front of the castle on the Rhine on a bench under a lamp. 3:15 clock. Now I'm going home times. Even if I am everything - not just tired ... 11.07.2008Putzen cleaning brush! Has someone of you with pure Kalkreinigerscheißzeug cleaned? IIIIIIIIIIhhhgitt! But shining the bathroom - scrub just 2 hours ... In the evening I have a date with my sweet Ossig Ruppe hard to port. Pleasant evening. Somehow. Andy is Andy da.Und draws to a week. Nice to know - as an aside. He squandered it on to the evening with me. Skin things out that are simply inappropriate. Flirts with other girls in front of my eyes, etc. That's it. Frank cares about me. And yet. I cry for! 12.11.2008Ein boring day. But that also does well again. With the thought of so purely to do anything more on the day I lie wrapped in a sheet on my bed. Since the cell phone rings. Frank asks if I have a mind to come to Limburg. As would be even something like the Schiersteiner Harbour Festival. Only smaller. Ja ne, is clear. A fire hard it is. Nothing more, nothing less. And for that I had 40 minutes on the road. As if that were not bad enough, I am getting when getting made clear that there's a gentleman waiting for me that I would like to meet. Carsten. This is the moment in which I would most like to get back into my car. But for the road was too far and the fuel too expensive! As if all this had not been bad enough, is also a type of opinion must turn on me. ABFUHR.Punkt. The rest of the evening runs quite nice. Very quiet. But nice. Frank and his goal has been reached. Carsten and I have exchanged numbers ... 13.07.20081. Mietze lernt fliegen. Gott hab ich nen Schreck bekommen. Aber Mietz lebt, ist gesund und munter. Und das nach nem Flug aus dem 2. Stock. Bin stolz auf meine Katze. Aber nun kommen Fliegen/Katzengitter ans Fenster. 2. Ich bin mit dem Apotheker verabredet. Der Apotheker... Den guten haben ich vor einem Jahr schon einmal getroffen. Am 26.07.2007. Und das weiß ich nur so genau, weil ich das in meinem aller ersten Tagebucheintrag noch einmal nachlesen konnte ;)Ein ganz offizielles Date. 15:30 Uhr trafen wir uns bei mir zu Hause. Dann ging es mit meinem Auto zur Nerobergbahn um mit dieser auf den Neroberg zu fahren. Ich gebe zu, dass ich die ersten 20 Minuten damit verbrachte, mir zu überlegen wie ich den Mann am ehesten wieder loswerde. Wieso ich nicht auf mein Gefühl gehört habe und das Treffen nicht wahr genommen habe. Schließlich haben wir uns schon einmal vor einem Jahr getroffen. In etwa zu der Zeit des Schweizers würde ich schätzen. Letztes Jahr habe ich ihn nach dem ersten Treffen nicht wieder sehen wollen. Er war charmant. Keine Frage. Aber ich konnte zu dem Zeitpunkt einfach noch nicht so richtig viel mit ihm anfangen. Mit seiner Art. Mit der Art mit der er mit mir Kommunizierte. Jetzt, ein Jahr später muss ich sagen, dass ich den Nachmittag auf dem Neroberg, den Spaziergang durch den Wald, die Autofahrt, die Gespräche während des Abendessens in der Cafe Bar… sehr gut genießen konnte. Es war angenehm ruhig. Wir haben uns unterhalten und angeschwiegen. Alles einfach sehr angenehm und sympathisch. I admit that we kissed. But why not. It is simply the right. I have concentrated nor felt unwell. Nothing of the kind. Evening in my apartment we have with my little cat lying on the couch and out of each other "wet areas" read. Very pleasant. I did not think that I will do the so again soon. The last time I was about 3 years ago ... long, long time ago. He has slept here after he is listening to the reading skills of my sleeping on my couch. I let him sleep and wake up again for breakfast. This morning I received a text message that it has everything to him very much. Earlier, he called and asked for a second Date.Auf Friday we have agreed. I determine whether we cook with me or we will go and eat. And I do not know yet. What is better? No idea. my days are still worrying ... I feel good with the thought of him. I have no tingling. But I am very confident that it can get. I am happy just to meet with him on Friday. I did not approach the feeling that I have to call it. Or anything else. I feel that he is interested. And all I can tackle just all super relaxed and watch. 14.07.2008Treffen by 17 clock to the summer romance at the hardware store. We still need a few screws and so nen nonsense to me with a lamp, curtain rods and Fly screens to install. Apart from the fact that we have lot of stress because the Lord is still a date with a girl, everything went great. So stress in the sense of hurry, etc.;) 15.07.2008Ich now finally know that I have something like a stupid dolle house dust mite allergy. And that I'm allergic to my cat ... I still need a date again and that I now have to decide for or against a therapy. I have to think about. Best with the pharmacist. The fact I meet on Friday again ... Tanya and I make a nice evening on the couch. Then another phone call with your best friend in the home's turn and I sleep exhausted one ... And today? Today come the summer romance and Michele to me. Affair and friend ... Well let's see ... I will tell ...... and, above all in the next entry on the summer romance and the tranny. - SprüngePs: only 2 x sleeping and I have another date with the pharmacist. With a man who apparently thinks it really ... I `m so happy!

06/29/2008

1-0 for Spain and 10-0 against me ...

meet with friends. andy.und now back home alone. I'm in love - and again without even the slightest chance to have more. He pulls away. in three weeks. the head says I should see him no more. and the heart yearns for him every second. he's just him. with its laughter lines, his freckles, the dialect, the eyes of art ... all that I can just enjoy intense. meet after each other and it is a horror to me before the final farewell. I do not be sad. it all hurts. and all I want. I will finally have the good fortune just to be happy and to feel safe. to know that it is really a person at my side, which will go not so fast, and has to stay with me. 1-0 for spain. The country is depressed. - And I heart drin.scheiß last day! damn holiday weekend! projections
just sad and alone

Conan Visits Wax Museum Cnn

I'm back! - A jump has just come leaps and bounds! : O)

Everything is once again head. And nothing is the way I had it done to me. But if I'm honest, that would be boring J

My euphoria of recent times, unfortunately, had absolutely nothing to do with me Michael.
Michael is gone. Off. Over. To an end.
Who really is Michael?
has, since the man was serious but all he imagined me Stakeout could "officially" over another. Why? I am typing on his fucking ego. Bastard.
First I declare him nice and friendly that we should leave it at a friendship and yes, we can look if it works maybe one day - and that it mom. We have no go. And the Lord has to do on a Wednesday evening what better than me on the phone (at the presence of a woman's voice - right next to the phone) to explain that he has met a new and no longer wish that I sign. Often that words fail me. But with a man who a week earlier at night in my doorway stood up to tell me that it makes no * * blablabla, I find the whole hindsight but very funny. Well, yes. Let's see how long the "new" join in that. Although I am convinced again that the New is not already up to date and has taken flight (yeah - thanks, I prefer to speculate guuuuut FS24) * laughing * Let's make

once more with the mom. existing men's world.

My very good mood the last few weeks can be traced to a young man back just sweet 23 years old.
A man I have met one evening with friends.

We have talked all night (from 17.05. To 18.05.). Just like that. And us the night was too good to waste you with sleep.

A man with whom I'm not only me. Without ulterior motives, he came not to me to search for the little birthday orgy still have to drive.
And quite decent, we were sitting on the foot bath in my living room (since I've been waiting for at the time still on my new couch). Just like that. Talked about God, the world, our families, it also home to the good at 600 miles away. On vacation, about views. We described each other and and and ...
It seemed we had the night to a few hours left to speak up on time clock 12, the team collected eintrudelte with me to dinner.

We met again and again. And we are still coming.

now is clear, however, that he will move in 1 ½ months. What are the only reminder? Not to the Swiss with the incredible dialect? : O)

ändy (actually, Andy, but ändy talk) about. And I will stay. But it is only to Stuttgart. And we remain after all 1 ½ months.
I see myself now in the repetition of the last year of my sweet life: to enter suffering, deflecting and no fixed relationship because you want more just put once again clear for all the men of the bar top.

Scale: The Swiss and ändy!

The love of life and the untroubled by the Swiss (and the bed qualities ;-)). talk
The type that should be taken in the arm, the not-be-oppressed feeling of ändy
And the smile, the hair, the beard, the size, the eyes, arms, fingers, smile lines, etc. pp. Of both.

I think from now there is officially a certain type of man to which I am * laughs * Well

. Further in the text.

This week I'm going home. Add to my parents home.
After at least six months. Just in time for a funeral. Well, if the timing is not with the planning ...

would move my arrival at the most. But since I must now well-...

On the way home I take my born on 27.04.2008 with Katie. That you all can sometimes make a picture you see above my kitten :-)

The rest of the men in the short run.

The policeman * rrrrrrr * has reported back. Where are about to return to the single market. (Comes with it in this year Date-Marathon has recorded)

The colleague of part-time job into his head (with his cute 19 years) that I become his new affair. And that he has a three in front of me and a friend of his. If the boy trying times * * * * heehee

Tobias is also from the north of the country. And also lives down here now. Tobias does his best. And I enjoy that we meet, watch football walk and walk and do nothing. He knows of ändy. And I realize how hard he is. And unfortunately, it fits so not in my newly constructed image of men.

And what does this summary again?

I'm an asshole. But the nothing is new. Other

what / what I am:

have received mail from the person I became incredibly important (despite the fact that we write to us for months, only emails). Great man! Have
mail received from Swiss
Have 2 weeks off in August. And since I had the idea, Mr. Schweizer time to propose a few days stop by ... J

times what the Lord has seen of the idea?

I think this is first of all. At least for now.

But it is summer. It is again gedatet. And I love life again. It will therefore again follow more entries! J

dearest greetings
jumps