I would like to publish a reader's letter that I received a few days here because it is essentially a dilemma which I had already described a number of devout men. And would like to discuss, in my view, it also by the recorder itself is desirable that even in the context of the comment feature, other people can comment on if they want.
"I would like to just go back a bit, hoping to arouse your interest. Maybe you can draw from it something that is worth reading for you and your blog.
I think, the older and more mature you get, the more forces itself upon one, the question of how to handle himself with his sexual inclinations, which is more than natural. We may discover in themselves needs and desires that differ from the social norm, and the "wrong" are perceived.
Into other areas, such as BDSM, this is still more the case.
If you submissive male and submissive, one is under in the SM scene probably not alone, but most likely still the (felt-intuitive) masses men. In the rest of the (general, non-oriented SM) masculinity, however, we form a minority.
If you listen to a little, or read about how difficult it is dominant women more often because you do find suitable male counterpart, it forces itself but on a the idea that man does not know how he behave in a woman over added.
What is in itself not surprising. Man just usually the one who pretends things. It usually starts already in knowing and dating. As interesting as a woman would find the guy at the bar, she would never go talk to him and is up to him the first step.
What is also understandable way. If a woman is dominant, knows what she wants and the guy then it blows, it is only in the SM-environment likely that he may have similar interests. In a normal environment but men react more distraught, believing that this "break in style" simply are not used, and so does the response of women remain there someday frustrated.
From my own experience I know dass eigentlich die meisten Frauen sich einen Partner wünschen, der größer ist. Eine starke Schulter zum Anlehnen, der sie tröstet, ein starker, selbstbewusster Mann der sie "beschützt".
Als devoter Mann bin ich jedoch nicht so stark. Ich bin auch nicht direkt so selbstbewusst, und ich bin auch nicht derjenige, der IHR gegenüber den Ton angeben will oder kann. Ich wünsche mir die Frau, die mich anspricht, es aber nie tun wird.
Ich werd nun einfach mal etwas persönlicher, spätestens hier hättest du so oder so gemerkt, dass dies keine Gedankenspinnerei sein kann.
Dass jedoch nun schon ab dem Kennenlernen in der Regel der Mann derjenige ist, der das Szepter also in der Hand should have is just the reverse in terms of (sexual) roles gradezu devastating.
Of course, the dominant woman pissed if he responds. That may be because she and her friends just far too nice conversation has, and not to be disturbed, or because of the shameless guy has left a comment too much on its own, or quite simply because he is not her type or because its simply the time it is not perfect enough.
Some of these women love to be considered right from the first moment and later found to be treated, others prefer to meet on equal terms.
degree is something in this regard is an absolute Rotation of the sexual reality, to be yet more bad than good pressed into the norm. And just pours out on all sides. That do not fit each other, can be seen if only because many men can make many mistakes. And what does he intuitively if you please, without knowing the woman at all, even by chance know the proper way to address them? In
SM environment therefore know the "real" woman, is therefore more difficult.
In the normal environment, the right to know is, the more impossible. Dominant women are in the minority, the majority of women expect strong men that appeal to them, no sensitive, cautious men. Wobei ich ohnehin eher seltenst derjenige bin, der Frauen wirklich auch mal anspricht.
Ein weiteres Problem, was sich aus all dem zwangsläufig ergeben würde, ist umso verheerender. Sollte man jemals die passende Partnerin kennengelernt haben, dann ist es mehr als klar, dass sie eine "dominante Aura umgeben" wird, dass sie sich nicht vollständig verstecken können wird. Es wäre daher im normalen Umfeld also letztlich ziemlich schwer, die sexuelle Neigung zu vertuschen, die sich letztlich hinter so einer Partnerin und dem Verhalten ihr gegenüber verbergen wird.
Deswegen ist es klar, dass dominante Frau und devoter Mann schwerer zueinander finden, dass solche Dinge schwerer zu vertuschen sind. Dass both women and men are frustrated and give up at some point the search.
And so it has also shown that the right partner can of course wait for the "
Since bites sich die Katze in den Schwanz. Einer muss nunmal den ersten Schritt machen und auch die divenhafteste Dame möchte schließlich ihre Bedürfnisse befriedigen und nicht dank ihrer eigenen Unnahbarkeit verhungern.
Man sollte ja auch nicht die Rollen mit den Personen gleichsetzen oder vertauschen. Eine dominante Frau wird in den meisten Fällen zumindest nicht nur eine solche sein, und ein devoter Mann auch andere Qualitäten und Interessen haben. Sollte es sich also nicht um eine oberflächliche Begegnung halten, die anberaumt wird, würde ich sagen, dass man eben auch mehr von sich selbst als Person nach außen zeigen sollte. Eins sollte man aber nicht so sehr zeigen: Und zwar, dass man auf the search is. Well, actually I would not generalize. But from personal experience and the experience which I have checked with other women, it appears that there are men who place a certain degree of desperation of the day, when they even aware that they are looking for.
Ultimately, like-minded terms of what BDSM well but much rather take in the scene at parties, get-togethers, cocktail parties and other events, as happened to be in the hotel bar. And when you speak another problem: The
submissive men a dime a dozen. Honestly, to me are not noticed in the masses. What I already notice are that at various meetings men who seem to have a profile, at least not this show. For sure, but voyeuristic. Unpleasant, albeit quiet, lonely and yet among men. I think anyone who wanted to investing a little, can raise it and define it. Just round tables and other Plauderveranstaltungen, in contrast to the play parties are committed to make new contacts, to show who you are, that's who, without having others feel personally affected. And on those evenings, it does not matter whether you are domiant or submissive, very few of those present will you complain that it appeals to you, even though you're submissive. After all, one is there to talk to! I for one find it extremely rude and just before übergrifflich if any running up my cathedral, to be able to rumtoppen me
In itself it can not hurt to create a pool of contacts, no matter the conformity of sex and affection of their own preference. Because of a contact can be further contacts quickly and easily and without having to give the impression to be desperately looking to generate
But also this:. I do not know how old you are. But times are changing with and. Not for everyone, not everywhere, but everyone can contribute something. Who makes the first step should not depend on gender. Who wants to go to someone to do that was to follow, an impulse, a need. Why not? If you have interest?
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