Donnerstag, 18 Uhr –
Und es geht mir außerordentlich gut.
Mit einem riesen Lächeln mache ich mich nach einem erfolgreichen Arbeitstag auf den Weg zu meinem Auto, sammel meinen ehemaligen Tanzfreund noch ein und mache mich mit ihm zusammen auf den Weg zu unserer Badmintonrunde.
Wir haben Spaß. Sau viel Spaß. Und so, wie es den ganzen Tag schon war, lache ich viel und mache albere mit meinen drei Männern herum, die ich hier unten gleich zu Beginn kennen gelernt habe.
Wolle ist Mitte 30. Der charmante Kollege, mit dem man auch mal gern was trinken geht.
Wolle zieht in die Schweiz. Im Februar.
Wie gut, dass sie mir das erst nach 1 ½ Stunden mitgeteilt haben, so dass die Konzentration eh langsam nach lies.
Es stört mich nicht, dass er weggehen will. Schließlich war es nur eine Frage der Zeit möchte ich behaupten. Er ist so ein unruhiger Mensch, der hier eigentlich nur auf der Durchreise war. Ein lieber Mensch, der mir den Einstieg hier enorm erleichtert hat.
Und dennoch reißt es mir gerade an diesem Abend den Boden unter den Füßen weg.
So toll mein Hoch auch war so perfekt stecke ich an diesem Abend in meinem Tief.
Wieder geht jemand weg. Und wieder habe ich das Gefühl, dass ich gar nicht so schnell so tolle Menschen kennen lernen kann, wie sie wieder verschwinden.
Den Reise- und Entwicklungszwang I can understand though, managed not just to make myself clear that it is also perfectly "ok" is that I just want to be here. That it is right that I arrived here and it is absolute nonsense to think that I'm just still and do not get any further.
since 1 ½ years I am now almost in Wiesbaden.
has passed so fast. And mom. Think I am with what I want.
Will I stay here?
Or where I want to go?
How far do I let my surroundings, my fellow man, incorporated into my decision, and how good or bad is it?
I'm happy here. Point.
It is not always simple. But it would not find otherwise.
I build more and more.
The friendships are now more intense. I am relaxed.
Actually everything is great. Actually
.
Something in me wants to return "home".
I can not explain what it is exactly.
The longing for the friends to the old country, according to the Baltic Sea, according to my parents, grandparents? After seeing how my brother has developed? Then have breakfast in the morning sometimes with my parents and to be able to talk for hours! Then
evening with old friends just to go drinking and what you always tell what and to blaspheme had!
After that you have always felt at home!
But I was not happy with it.
I Could it be this time? Or would I miss something?
I think the train has left the old country. I would not find the connection. Would not be happy with my experience I have made, because no one could sympathize with me because no one would understand why I'm me.
I've been waiting that I may hear in the 1 to 2 weeks Lübeck stay as I have changed.
I just see the looks of my friends at that time regarding the dark lipstick. The blond hair aufgeföhnten.
I already know that there are a great find and the others will ask me how I come to me to dress and make up to me so where I have kept all but sooner rather mild.
shame that you can advance to believe it. Too bad that I now think "why we have so long to see? How come you have not noticed the development? And why do you dare me to say such things? Would I stand up and ask you why since you stopped? Why do I have to pull myself together and can not inspiring report from my job and my life? Why it has come that between We have moved more than 600 km? "
No, I do not just before. I also think about what it was.
I know these people and reactions.
I respected these people and loved. Do it today.
But I hate that I have made a development that does not understand these people understand it. I'm the one that has managed to break out of the old life and that I'm the one that has not been able to maintain a balance between old and new.
I digressed. But sometimes this must be.
I stay here. Basta.
I'm happy.
And the people come and go and is perfect normal in life.
not only in my;)
But sometimes one just has the feeling no one else does with what you own is going through;)
Anyway ...
tonight waiting a very sweet cat to me, which I will watch the next 1 ½ weeks. So there is someone there to cuddle me. If nothing is, I do not know;)
you all a nice evening and a nice start to the weekend!
- jumps
PS: my mom private records. based on positive events in my life. Sometimes missing one containing the words, because you can not believe his luck;)
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